Supporting an Autistic child with behaviour regulation isn’t about controlling their behaviour; it’s about understanding what regulation means for that individual, recognising their needs, and creating environments where they feel safe and understood.

More than 1 in 100 people are Autistic, and there are at least 700,000 Autistic adults and children in the UK. Research also consistently shows that Autistic children experience significantly higher levels of anxiety than their non-Autistic peers, with some studies presenting that 39.6% of Autistic young people meet the criteria for an anxiety disorder.

When we talk about behaviour regulation, we’re often actually discussing nervous system regulation. If a child feels overwhelmed, anxious, misunderstood or sensory overloaded, their behaviour will reflect that internal experience. Our job is to help them learn to regulate.

Here are 9 strategies to help you meaningfully support your Autistic child’s regulation in a compassionate way:

1. Understand the Double Empathy Problem

It’s known that sometimes Autistic children can struggle with social interaction. However, it's important for us to recognise that this difficulty sometimes comes from a disconnect between Autistic children and their parents.

This describes the concept of the Double Empathy Problem, which suggests that communication problems between Autistic and non-Autistic people are mutual. It’s not simply that the Autistic child “lacks” social skills. Rather, it might be that both parties struggle to understand each other’s communication styles.

The Double Empathy Problem suggests that communication problems between Autistic and non-Autistic individuals are mutual, rather than simply the Autistic individual lacking social skills.

As a parent, it can be incredibly helpful to focus on curiosity instead of correcting your child’s interaction style.

Ask yourself, “How does my child show connection?” and “How do they communicate comfort, interest, or distress?”

When we focus on understanding their way of interacting instead of on changing it, their behaviour becomes easier to interpret and support.

2. Create Structure & Predictable Routines

For Autistic children, the world can be an unpredictable place, so structured, predictable routines can help them navigate it. As anxiety stems from uncertainty and a lack of control, creating consistent routines helps provide your child with greater levels of certainty.

When we say consistent routines, we are not referring to rigid schedules where every minute must be identical. What’s important is that your child has predictable anchors throughout the day that help them understand what’s coming next.

For example, this might include:

A Consistent Morning Routine: Waking up, having breakfast, getting dressed and brushing their teeth in the same order every day.

A Predictable After-School Routine: Having a snack, resting, doing homework and having dinner.

A Clear Bedtime Sequence: Bath time, putting on pyjamas, reading a story and going to sleep in the same order.

A Regular Weekly Structure: Knowing that they go to football practice every Tuesday, and food shopping happens on a Saturday morning.

Daily Planned Decompression Time: Planned time to regulate at the same time every day, such as after school.

When your child has parts of the day that are predictable, their nervous system can settle.

However, remember that having some flexibility is completely okay and encouraged. When plans do change, communicate this clearly to your child and give them as much preparation time as possible.

3. Use Visual Aids to Increase Clarity

Autistic children can sometimes struggle to visualise what a new situation will look like. Thankfully, there are ways to help with this, especially because our brains are programmed to process visual information more easily.

A helpful strategy is to use visual aids such as 'now and next' boards to help your child understand the structure of their day. Essentially, these boards show a picture of the activity your child is currently doing in the ‘now’ box and have a picture of the upcoming activity in the ‘next’ box.

Use visual aids, such as ‘now’ and ‘next’ boards, to clarify the structure of the day to your child.

This increases predictability and reduces anxiety, which directly supports regulation.

4. Tell Social Stories

Social stories can help make new situations easier to manage for your child.

They involve telling your child a short, structured explanation of a specific situation that helps them understand what is going to happen, why it is happening, and what they can expect.

For example, if a child is going to the dentist for the first time, a social story would describe where they’re going, who they’ll meet, what the room will be like, what the dentist will do and how long it will take.

By clearly outlining the sequence of events and possible expectations, social stories reduce the ‘unknowns’ that can trigger distress and give your child control.

You can write down these social stories and add pictures to make them even easier to understand. What’s great about them is that they can be used for everyday occasions too, such as birthday parties or school trips.

If you’d like support with learning new strategies like this one and implementing them with your child, explore the support we offer for parents and get started with us today.

5. Support Transitions Gently & Gradually

It can be a struggle for Autistic children to move from one location or activity to another. It’s important to support these transitions.

As with visual aids, it can be helpful to use visual timers, such as countdowns or sand timers, to give your child advance notice that an activity is coming to an end, so they can prepare for the transition.

The key here is that these visual timers make transitions feel more predictable and less sudden, improving regulation.

6. Step Into Their Special Interests

Often, Autistic children will have particular special interests. These can be absolutely anything that really captures their attention and engagement, and about which they show more interest than others.

If you step into the Autistic child's world by sharing their enjoyment of their special interest, this can often lead to really meaningful interactions. It can also be a way to find out what motivates the child and help them understand the world through the lens of their special interest.

Share the enjoyment of your child’s special interests, as they can ask as bridges to communication and co-regulation.

For example, if they have a special interest in football, you might use a 'yellow card' and 'red card' system to help them understand socially appropriate behaviour.

Rather than limiting special interests, we can use them as bridges to communication, learning, and co-regulation.

7. Understand & Support Sensory Needs

Everyone experiences the world slightly differently, but for Autistic children, their sensory sensitivities and challenges may be more pronounced.

Autistic children might be hypersensitive or hyposensitive to specific types of sensory stimuli, meaning they may avoid or seek these types of sensory stimuli more than others.

Understanding the types of sensory stimuli that children seek and avoid can help you to identify the strategies and activities that regulate them, and the tools and techniques that might reduce how overwhelming certain environments may be.

Between 93% and 96% of individuals with autism experience sensory processing differences. This might present in your child, covering their ears, avoiding bright spaces, spinning repeatedly, which are ways of regulating their sensory system.

To support your child’s sensory regulation, you can give them noise-reducing headphones, sensory breaks, adjustable lighting and fidget tools.

8. Recognise Masking & Create Space to Decompress

Autistic children can sometimes copy other children to imitate social rules, without a full and proper contextual understanding of the social rules themselves. This is called masking and helps them to fit in with the world around them, but takes a huge amount of effort and can leave the child feeling exhausted at the end of the day.

This might be why the child appears to function well in school, but has a meltdown when they return home.

Recognise when your child is masking and give them adequate time to decompress between activities.

It's important to recognise when your child is masking, and create time for them to engage in their special interests and meet their sensory needs regularly throughout the day so that they have a safe space to decompress.

Schedule regular time for them to decompress in a quiet, safe space. Ensure you give them time to rest between activities.

9. Practise Neuroaffirming Support & Acceptance

There are lots of common social aspects your Autistic child might find challenging, such as holding eye contact. They also may engage in repetitive behaviours, otherwise known as 'stimming'.

It’s really important that you avoid punishing your child for these behaviours and recognise the strengths they have, rather than trying to make them appear more like other children.

Neuroaffirming practice means valuing their differences, respecting their communication styles, allowing stimming, and focusing on their strengths. Acceptance is vital, and allowing Autistic children to express themselves is a fundamental principle.

Regulation improves when a child feels accepted.

How Draig Behaviour Consultancy Can Help

We hope this guide has allowed you to learn some helpful strategies to support your Autistic child in regulating their behaviour.

At Draig Behaviour Consultancy, we have 10+ years of experience working with children in behaviour specialist roles across specialist education, the NHS, and private residential care environments.

If you’re trying to support your Autistic child with behaviour regulation and feeling unsure where to begin, you don’t have to navigate this on your own.

Explore the support we offer for parents and get started with us today to talk through what’s happening for your child and explore how we might work together.

9 Strategies for Autistic Child Behaviour Regulation